Thursday, April 1, 2010

what to do?

lets say that i have found my chuck bass and i am Blair....
so when all this time the guy that you have willingly avoid turns out to be the one to steal ur heart... and u feel like everything is going to be fine..... and u hope that there is nothing wrong will come close between you and him..
but what if a third person come into the picture.....
and this third person is a close friend for a long time..... and that this third person has invited me to have lunch with him???
well the problem is.... whether i tell my chuck or not?????
i'd would bring him along to the lunch, but then there will be a battle of men's ego flying across the table.... and i dont think i can handle that kind of drama.........

now how do we know that we have found the right person?
well, you dont..... i know that im not suppose to say that.... especially im in the midst of mending my own relationship....
but somethings we get together just because its easier that way... to finally call ur other half.
sometimes i wonder if the one you have in ur heart is the one that will be with you until the end????

i admit that i am not as angelic as i want to be..... meaning that i have been on dates while with 'chuck'.... but in the end i end up telling him and that its just an action out of fear....
my fear of getting close to someone......
but lately i wonder that what if i told that one person.... that one person that i had a crush on for sometime...... what if it wasnt fear? what if thats the real deal????
'chuck' is everything i'm looking for in a guy, but why do i feel that he's not the one???

is this a reasoning im telling myself so i dont get close too someone..??????
yes! i'm afraid to get close to person..... close to my heart. to someone that i can surrender to.
why is this so hard????
all i hope that i find the one person we all hope to find in our life.....
and that no one gets hurt along the way.....

ah..........give me a sign!

2 comments:

Nick 777 said...

Hi Sis, U didn't have to think about it. My Dear Sister, past is way back then, future is what lies ahead off you. Do we need past? Yes, for improvement and reminder not to do the same mistake. Future promises all kind of hope.
Yet, I wish for the best for my beloved Sister........
Chaiyyok

akubudakbaik said...

thanks adik nik....
i just hope future comes in ways that benefits all without leavin any broken hearts.....

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